Season 1 Episodes
Why the 14th Century Had Better Wellness Spas Than L.A.
Vesper reviews a drizzly, mud-drenched medieval village square as if it were an exclusive minimalist holistic detox resort.
The Express Train That Craved Haemoglobin
An accidental swap of steam locomotive boilers with cyber-alchemical bio-reactors creates sentient, hungry transport machinery.
The Heresy of Unoptimized Spleens
Vesper defends his neon-infused subterranean lab from execution by treating the Grand Inquisitor's severe metabolic deficiencies against his will.
The Four-Minute Absolution Speedrun
Vesper attempts to optimize Malachi's slow, agonizing penance backlog using a high-throughput, cyber-alchemical confessional booth.
The Mandatory Break-Time Anathema
Vesper weaponizes local 14th-century guild labor laws and bioluminescent HUD timers to legally stall the Grand Inquisitor's surprise audit.
The Sanctified Rapid-Eye-Movement Audit
Vesper uses cyber-alchemical HUD data to aggressively prove his unholy, ultra-optimized sleep cycle is actually an ultra-orthodox form of divine mortification.
The Desecration of St. Jude's Vertebra
Vesper argues that sanitizing and bio-tuning sanctified medieval bones with glowing cyber-alchemical fluids is the ultimate act of holy veneration.